I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
