..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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