Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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