butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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