What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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