Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
