At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
