Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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