apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
