I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
