I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
