Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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