guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
