Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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