I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
