he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
