Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
