Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
