Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
