does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
