is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
