His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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