oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
