his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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