I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
