He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
