it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
