I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
