Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
A+ Viking dick
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
