um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
