I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
This girl is more easily done than said...
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
