Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
