Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
