your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
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