I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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