just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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