i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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