she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Randomize
