So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
