Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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