I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
