Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
