just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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