when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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