please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I think we might need a safe word for this...
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
