i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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