careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
