two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
