The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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