i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
