they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
