not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
